Tuesday, January 25, 2011

My Short Story

My short story is about a man who is sent from his nice apartment in Boston to go fight in a war in Russia.  He lives with his wife and 9 year old son.  He leaves his family and friends to investigate terrorist activity in the mountains.  They land when and start their travels when suddenly they are captured.  Now they must try to escape and return to the helicopter before it is to late.  Will they return home to see their loved ones again or will they fall to The Russian military?
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6 comments:

  1. james cJanuary 25, 2011 at 3:39 PM

    zach
    sounds interesting. i think you could tell more in the summary like:why the war started, what branch of military is he from, when does it take place.
    but all out, cool!
    james

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  2. Christine CharbonneauJanuary 26, 2011 at 10:21 AM

    Thanks for posting, Zach! Will this be set during an actual war the U.S. has been involved in, or is it some time in the future?

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  3. MadelynJanuary 26, 2011 at 12:08 PM

    Zach,
    Your story sounds very intresting and I would like to hear the rest of it. As a couple suggestions I thnk you could add more specific dates and locations. Also I think that you could be more descriptive about what the man looks like, where the war is in Russia, and what transportation he uses while in Russia and how he gets there. Your story is really good at grabbing your reader's attention so far.
    Madelyn

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  4. ben jJanuary 26, 2011 at 12:17 PM

    Zach,
    I think it is a cool idea. I don't know if you had already planned this but maybe it could be set during the cold war? It might make some more complications like not having the same technology that we have now. And plus it would give your story a little more detail and make it more believable if there was a thing that actually happened, u.s. in the cold war. But it sounds interesting.
    Ben.

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  5. Kevin MurphyJanuary 27, 2011 at 9:08 AM

    Zach

    story sounds great man. I want to hear the rest. I think you could make it a little better if one of the men is moved. so after they escape they have to find the other man before they can leave. Just a suggestion. Sounds great again.

    Kevin Murphy

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  6. ClaudyBJanuary 27, 2011 at 7:33 PM

    This is really interesting. I wonder who captured them. i also wonder if he will make it out in time. This is something I SHOULD read.

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